Grand Pas de Deux
by Sybil Rowan
Summary: Frances owns a male strip club and and the police commissioner, Van Bogart, is trying to shut her down after she hires a fresh faced, country boy named Joe. Her employees go through romances situations of various types. It's when Van Bogart's daughters show up for a party, that things go high drama.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Grand Pas de Deux

Author: Sybil Rowan, with generous assistance from WingedPanther73

Pairing(s)/Characters: 003/009, 002/004, but also lot of whack-a-doo pairing usually not possible in a normal story, like Cathy and Junior, for example.

Summary: Frances owns a male strip club and and the police commissioner, Van Bogart, is trying to shut her down after she hires a fresh faced, country boy named Joe. Her employees go through romances situations of various types. It's when Bogart's daughters show up for a party, that things go high drama.

Warnings: Some slash stuff in the background, just lots of comedy though. Also will have 0010 twins in here, but I named them Castor and Pollux just to make it easy. Apollo is going to seem like one giant narcissist.

Rating: M, just for subject matter.

Author's Notes: This twisted idea was born on Tumblr thanks to some of my Tumblr buddies: silvermoon602, cinerari, skyghost, & tabbywilder. See my Tumblr account for details. Yes, it is a comedy, but will have loads of romance in it, too. Also, Inertbiscuit drew a hysterical piece of artwork for this idea called "Frances in Charge." Go check out her deviant art account for a good chuckle.

Disclaimer: Cyborg 009 is owned by Shotaro Ishinomori's estate. (And he probably would be shaking his head at me over this one)

Beta Reader: WingedPanther73 :)

Date: October 28, 2012/ 5:32 am

Word Count: on going

Frances paced in front of the wood bench, her employees looking up at her expectantly. Today, she'd taken to wearing jodhpurs, a silk blouse, and glossy black riding boots. She clenched the riding crop under her arm, hand resting on the handle. She gave them a stern expression, but before she could launch into her announcement, a loud disgruntled wail filled the room.

"We're about to practice our new act!" Jet teased suddenly, towards the gloomy teenager that appeared on the steps leading to Frances' loft apartment.

"I'm not looking!"

She looked over to her teenage ward, Ivan, who was shading his eyes as if her employees were a pack of gorgons. Indeed, Ivan had done everything to try to talk her out of this business venture, but to no avail. Jean-Paul wouldn't even take his side, he gave Frances tons of encouragement.

"Oh Ivan! This is an employee's meeting. They're fully dressed!" Frances said, shaking her head at him. Indeed, her four strippers, Jet, Pyunma, Castor, and Pollux were all dressed in jeans, teeshirts, and sneakers. GB and Junior, her emcee and bouncer, were in suits, and Chang, her bartender, was in a traditional Chinese outfit.

"No we're not! We're all about to get buck naked!" Jet shouted out. Ivan screamed and clamped his hand over his eyes as he tried to dodge around the tables blindly. He bumped into a table decorated in a pink hearts table cloth. He dropped his school backpack on the ground.

"Now you got to look!" Jet gloated.

"Shut up, Jet," Ivan snarled at his least favorite of Frances' employees, waving his fist in Jet's general direction.

"Jet, if you didn't have such a nice body, I'd fire you," Frances fumed, helping Ivan with his backpack. Ivan scrambled towards the door. "Have a good day at school!"

Jet knew she wouldn't really fire him; she would have done that a long time ago for other various infraction of her rules. She turned towards the burly, American Indian bouncer. "Oh, Junior, there is a chance for a promotion. I think you could certainly make more money on the stage. Muscles like yours are absolutely wasted under clothes."

"No, Ma'am, thank you. I'm perfectly happy working the door."

Jet snickered, noticing Junior blushing. But Jet admitted he was relieved Junior wanted to stay at the door. The ladies would be all over Junior and cut into Jet's tip money.

"Well, you do get the ladies to step in and check everything out, I suppose," Frances said. She picked up her clipboard and opened her mouth, but the front door slammed open. She turned a hostile gaze on the front door, but it melted away when Jean-Paul and Natalie stepped in the door.

"Where do you want it?" Jean-Paul called out, giving the room one of his happy-go-lucky smiles.

Jet leaned over to his best friend, Pyunma, and whispered. "I have a few suggestions."

Pyunma shot Jet a withering look. Jet made no secrets about his intense crush on Jean-Paul. Jet swore the only thing keeping him apart from the French hottie was Natalie. No matter how many times Pyunma reminded him Jean-Paul was totally straight and in a relationship, Jet dismissed it.

"Oh good! My new booze. I want that in the basement and Chang can sort through it later. Join us for the announcement!"

Jean-Paul and Natalie sat down on the long bench, both smiling brightly. Frances cleared her throat and start pacing, riding crop now lofted. "As you well know, our business has grown by leaps and bounds. We've been able to expand and remodel the _'Grand Pas de __Deux' _and make it into the business I've always dreamed of: the top notch male strip club in the whole city! That's why I'm announcing that this week Natalie and I will be interviewing for two new strippers and one new waitress."

"But what about our tips?" Jet grumbled, crossing his arms.

"I've been booking so many groups there is no way you four can handle it any more. I promise you'll make double your money, and I'll let you and and Pyunma get first pick from the clientèle. Fair?"

Jet was mollified, but the Castor and Pollux both said, "Hey that's not fair to us."

"You two are freaks that attack the freakiest customers," Jet snapped at the identical twins with spiky blue hair.

"Jet! We cater to all of our customers' taste and whims. You will treat the ladies that comes through my doors with respect and dignity." Jean-Paul, GB, and Chang let out small snickers at that one. Frances slashed the air with her riding crop. "Now, on to other business."

The whole crew followed Frances to the bar. Chang whipped a red veil off the bar and said, "Ta-da!" On the bar was a huge punch bowl with several glasses stacked around it. "My new drink: sexy cinnamon twisters. Taste up."

"Free samples!" Jet's hand snaked towards one of the glasses, but Frances brought down her riding crop on his hand. He yanked it back and shook it in the air. "What's the big idea?"

"You're only eighteen! No booze for you," Frances said sternly, the end of the crop only centimeters from his nose.

"I'm old enough to shake my money maker in a bunch of ladies' faces, but I can't drink? It's not fair I tell you."

"No sense in complaining to me. I can't drink either. Besides, Albert's here. Go help him to my office."

Jet looked over at the front door. Indeed, Frances' taciturn accountant had slipped in the front door and was now watching them beneath the rim of his fedora. Jet sulked over to the accountant and followed the man out the door to his blue sedan.

Heinrich opened the trunk and Jet got out one of the heavy, cardboard boxes, stuffed full of papers. "So why don't you use a computer? You hate trees or something?"

The man looked mildly amused. "No, Mister Link, it's all a plot to keep you in shape."

"I can't believe I heard that right? You cracked a joke on me?"

Albert just locked his car and walked back into the strip club, Jet trailed behind. Jet glared at Pyunma, who hoisted his free drink in the air and said, "This is so awesome!"

Jet stuck his nose in the air and followed Heinrich up the stairs and down the hallway. They entered Frances' office. Jet set his box next to Heinrich's. The accountant took off his suit coat and fedora, then he loosened his tie slightly before taking a seat at Frances' desk. The man then slipped on his eye glasses. A few seconds later he shot Jet an irritated glance.

"Math is not a spectator sport."

"Hun?"

"You're staring. Is there some you wanted?"

Jet felt his face flush red and his own irritation rose. He flopped down on a spinning office chair and draped his lanky legs over one of the arms. Heinrich went back to getting sheets from one of the boxes, so Jet's eyes drifted to the ceiling. His foot caught the edge of an end table. He pushed his foot against it and started spinning, faster and faster he went until his left, too loose sneaker flew off his foot. Jet halted and gasped as it sailed through the air, smacking Heinrich soundly on the nose.

The German accountant looked up with an icy glare, gripping a pencil in both his hands. He snapped it, slammed both halves down, and then picked up Jet's sneaker. "Yours, I presume."

Jet shuddered, grabbed the shoe, and ran out of the office before the man could make any further comment. He went to the bar and flopped down beside Pyunma. His face was blazing hot as he tugged his shoe back on.

"It's not show time yet," Pyunma teased.

"Aw... stuff it."

"Jet, you and Pyunma go get Jean-Paul's truck unloaded," France ordered, smacking her riding crop on the bar counter. They groaned but dragged themselves from the bar and wandered out back where the blond Frenchman was handing down crates to the twins.

* * *

Police Commissioner Van Bogart looked up from the paperwork on his desk to the two new police officers. "You're late, Gaia and Gaia."

"Yes, Sir," Artemis answered, repressing a glare at her twin brother. If he hadn't insisted on stopping for hair gel, they would have been on time.

"Well, don't make this a regular habit! Now, I got your first assignment." He pushed a folder at Artemis. She picked it up and opened the folder. There was a picture of a large brick building with a pink sign that read _'Grand Pas de __Deux'. _Under the picture were a couple of police reports, all were stamped 'unfounded'. "This Arnoul lady, I want her investigated and busted."

"But, Sir, it looks like she's running a clean establishment," she said, handing the folder over to her brother.

"Poppycock!" He slammed his hand down on the desk. "Anyway, we have a duty to keep our town free of this sort of filth and vermin. Men doing this sort of thing is just beyond the pale. Just taking women's money and for what? Some sort of cheap thrill. I won't have it, I tell you. I want Arnoul out of business by the end of this month or it's back to the beat for you two."

The phone rang and the police commissioner picked it up. "Hello? Helen, honey don't cry... I know, I know... You girls want a big party for your birthday... You tell Venus you have a strict budget... I do care what you quints want... No, you can pick out any venue you want... That's fine... Bye, Helen, tell your sister I'll be home late..." He hung up the phone and pointed at a picture on his desk with five identical girls depicted; all had short, blond spiky hair. "My quints are turning twenty-one in a couple of weeks and they want a big party. Anyway, back to business."

"So we'll conducted a stake out and find underage patrons. Easy enough," Apollo declared, waving his hand in the air.

"Not so. You two will go undercover and expose this filth for what it is." Bogart held up the help wanted ad in the newspaper. The one with a red circle around it read '_Wanted: two strapping young men to entertain women. Dinners provided along with a private gym. Charming smile a must. __On the job training provided and extensive opportunity for tips. Evening hours, perfect for collage students. Contact Frances Arnoul at 555-1234.'_

"Sounds like I'm the person she's looking for," Apollo said, flashing a smile. Artemis rolled her eyes and examined the ad below it, also circled. _'Wanted: one waitress. Must not be squeamish about the male anatomy. Lots of tips, night hours required. Contact Frances Arnoul at 555-1234.'_

"Now, detectives, go get those jobs!"

"Yes, Sir," they answered and left the office. When they got in the car, Apollo cranked up the engine and stomped on the gas.

"We need to come up with a story. We're new to town and looking for a job?" Artemis asked.

Apollo waved his hand in the air. "That's what I have you for. Make up what you want. I'm sure I'll get the job. Girls love my body. And my perfectly spiked hair. And my smile." He suddenly sighed and turned the rear view mirror towards himself so he could admire the object of his affection.

"Apollo! Watch your driving!"

He put his eyes back on the road before he swerved them into a sidewalk. "Don't worry, we got this in the bag! Then a promotion. But you know what the best part is?"

"No, what's that?"

"The hot women drooling over me. This assignment rocks!"

"You mean sucks," Artemis mumbled, crossing her arms. No, this wasn't going to be fun, in her estimation. She was much more modest than her brother, and she really had no idea what to expect.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Joe, I wish it wasn't this way," the good Father said sorrowfully, before patting Joe on the shoulder.

"I know, Father. It'll be okay. I should get out on my own and find a job," Joe said, forcing a smile. He was about to choke up; he was going to miss the picturesque country orphanage and its kind Catholic staff that had worked hard to instill a strong morality in Joe.

He picked up his suitcase and shook the Father's hand. "Write when you get to the city and be frugal with your money until you get a job."

"Yes, Sir. Goodbye, I'll visit when I can," Joe promised and turned to walk down the dirt road to the bus stop. The bus rolled up in an hour to whisk him off to the large city an hour's drive south of the orphanage. He got off the bus and was awestruck by how huge and noisy everything was. It was all so confusing and flashier than anything he'd seen. He went and got a newspaper at a coffee shop and proceeded to to the first thing the Father told him to do: find a job.

Nothing quite seemed right, but one did catch his eye. '_Wanted: two strapping young men to __entertain women. Dinners provided along with a private gym. Charming smile a must. On the job training provided and extensive opportunity for tips. Evening hours, perfect for collage students. Contact Frances Arnoul at 555-1234.'_

He certainly could use free dinners, seeing how all he was allotted was 5,000 dollars to support himself for a while. Besides, several of the girls at the orphanage said he had a nice smile, and he did enjoy chatting with girls. A certain plus was that he'd need to find some sort of skilled training to help him in his future as an adult.

He stood up and walked over to a pay phone. A man answered, "Grand Pas de Deux. How can I help you?"

"I need to speak to Miss Arnoul about a job," Joe said.

"I'm her accountant. She's busy downstairs, but you can just show up. She's having open auditions right now."

"You could you tell me how to get there from the bus station?"

"You're close. It's seven block south of there, then take a right. It's the third building on the left. The only one with a pink sign on the street."

"Thank you, Sir." Joe hung up the phone and optimistically jogged down the street with suitcase in hand. Maybe city living would be better than he thought.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2:

"Dang she works us like bunch of rented pack mules," Jet griped, setting the last liquor crate on the basement floor.

"Hard work is good for the soul and builds character," Chang said, with a bright smile as he checked through the crates and checked off the inventory on a clipboard.

"It also pulls out the back and makes the feet sore," Jet countered and crossed his arms.

Pyunma threw his head back and laughed. "Better than digging wells and herding goats. You ever milked one?"

"Milk a goat? Over my dead body! I'm a proud city slicker."

Both Chang and Pyunma shook their heads at him. Chang said, "I think you need to spend some time in the country."

"No way," Jet said, slow and low.

"You could visit Mwanba with me next time I go," Pyunma teased. "My sisters will put you right to work."

"Your sisters and mother sound just like Frances, and there is no way I'm getting around four dames like that," Jet said. "Oh! By the way, how are things going for your family?"

"Great, my youngest sister just got braces for her teeth, and my oldest one just had another boy," Pyunma said, getting out the photo from his back pocket.

"Aw! Too cute," Jet said. "Man, I don't know how you can stretch the money far enough to support your family. I can barely do it and there are three of us."

"Money goes a whole lot farther in Mwanba than here." Pyunma tucked away the picture of his family.

Jet's cell phone jangled a jaunty tune. He sighed, fished in his pocket, and answered it with rolling eyes. "What do you want? I'm at work... We're unloading a boat..." Jet lofted his crossed fingers. "You have to work on Friday? I can't miss Friday... How about old lady Gardner? I'll make some good money on that night and can afford to pay her to watch Jimmy... Good... Sorry about the schedule, weekends are just too tight over here at the shipping docks... M'kay... later."

Pyunma started laughing and shaking his head. "Still lying to her, I see."

"Are you kidding me? Cathy's a lunatic! If she found out I was shaking my backside for a bunch of women during the evenings, she'd skin me alive."

"Wouldn't it be easier to come clean?" Chang butted in.

"Nope! My cousin just got dumped by that creep she was married to; he cleaned her out and left her with a mountain of debt. She's got a ten year old she's raising. That's why I took her in and am helping her out. She's working two jobs to pay down the debt, and she relies on my pay check to help support Jimmy since that creep won't give her a dime of child support. Plus, this job has a great schedule where I can watch Jimmy while she's at work most of the time."

"You think she'd be thrilled and proud you were bringing home steady pay and maintaining a job," Chang said, setting aside him clipboard.

"Cathy is the biggest prude on the planet. She's extremely uptight. It's bad enough she knows I swing both ways, and she doesn't give me too much flack about that anymore. If she knew I was a stripper, too, she'd haul my ass to the parish priest, which happens to be our extremely strict great uncle. Just... no... way."

Chang shook his head. "I think this will come back and bite you on that wiggly backside."

GB came running into the basement and doubled over in laughter. He finally got composed. "You guys got to see the new applicant!" With that, GB doubled over, laughing again. Jet and Pyunma exchanged looks and then jogged upstairs.

* * *

Frances glanced over to Natalie, who sat beside her at the table. The redheaded applicant was patting his gelled up, spiky hair and flashing them a too bright smile. "And did I mention I was voted Mister Hot Bod in high school?"

"Uh... yes, I believe you said that, Mister..." Frances consulted her clipboard. "Gaia?"

"Yes, first name Apollo. You know, like the Greek god," he said, leaning in a little too close to Frances. His eyebrow quirked suggestively and she inwardly groaned. A big ego like this was attractive to some customers, but she'd hate to see how her other strippers would react to his personality.

Speaking of which, she glanced over her shoulder to see Chang, GB, Jet, and Pyunma all clustered in the doorway to the basement.

"So how about it, Miss Arnoul? I won't even need a stage name." He flexed his right bicep and gave it a kiss. To which, she noticed her employees biting their knuckles as their eyes watered. "This says it all."

"Um... well... get up on the stage and lets see what you can do," Frances said. As Apollo leaped to the stage, Frances looked over at Natalie's clipboard. She had checked off a few good points and few bad points. Well, if this guy had as nice a rump as his biceps, Frances was for hiring on a trial bases.

Apollo strutted up and down the stage as if he were trying out for the Next Top Model show. He posed at the end of the stage, once again flexing his muscles and twirling around. She frowned and tapped her pen on the table. "No, Mister Gaia, that's not how it's done." She turned in her chair towards her gaggle of employees. "Jet, take the stage and show him what I expect."

After Jet got rid of his snickers, he hopped up on the stage as Apollo leaped down defiantly, looking disgruntled. Jet kicked off his shoes with swaying hips and undulated down the stage in a smooth sensuous motion. Jet took to the poll at the end of the stage just as Albert was coming down the staircase.

Albert's eyes were glued to his watch when he came around the edge of the stage. It was just as Jet lofted himself and spun around the poll with an extended leg. Jet's foot, to Frances' horror, connected with the back Albert's head. The German accountant went sprawling on the strip club floor, his briefcase skidded across the floor and came to rest at Frances' feet.

"Not again!" Jet wailed and leaped down off the stage.

Albert sat up and waved his hand at Jet. "Get back, you walking disaster!"

"I'm so sorry, Mister Heinrich. I really didn't see you there," Jet said, totally red faced. "Please let me help you up." His co-workers were now howling in laughter in the basement doorway, and the Greek applicant was wearing a smug expression. Frances jumped up from her seat and helped Albert to a chair.

"What happened to your nose? It looks bruised," Frances asked. Her accountant just shot Jet another dirty look as Chang came forward with a towel wrapped around ice. She shook her head at Jet. "Why is it every time Albert comes around you turn in to a totally graceless, accident-prone klutz? I swear this is the twentieth accident that's happened when you two are in the same room!"

"Sixty-three, but who's counting," Albert growled, putting the ice pack on the back of his head.

"So sorry," Frances said. She turned to Apollo. "Alright, you can have the job on a trial bases, but drop you pants and let us see you butt."

"My best feature," he declared, swirled around and dropped his pants.

A loud scream from the doorway jolted everyone. Ivan, quick as a flash, ran through the tables like an obstacle course and took the stairs three at a time.

"I think you're going to have to get that boy some therapy," GB said to Frances.

"Oh he's just a stick in the mud. He'll get over it once he discovers girls," Frances said, dismissively. "Jet, show the new hire around."

Apollo pulled his pants back on and said, "By the way, my sister is looking for a job, too. You said you had an opening for a waitress?"

"Oh yes. Natalie can't cover all the tables any more. Has she waited tables before?" Frances asked.

"During college," he answered. He walked over to the door and waved in a dark haired girl. They walked over to Frances. "This is Artemis."

"Good, Jet will show you around while we interview her."

"Come on," Jet mumbled, casting a vexed glance at Albert before leaving.

Frances chatted a little with the girl and then inquired, "Now you're sure your not embarrassed easily? I've hired other girls that get a little squeamish and quit."

"No, Ma'am, that's fine. Besides, I can keep a close eye on Apollo for you. He can be a little high strung," she said. Frances agreed, Apollo would probably needs some reigns to work at her establishment. Besides, this was killing two birds with one stone.

"You're hired. You'll be working with Natalie and Chang tonight to learn the ropes."

"Great, thank you very much."

"Oh, the uniform is in back. I think we have something your size," Natalie said, leading Artemis off.

"Albert, what do you think of my new hires?" Frances asked.

"Me? I like to keep my opinions to myself about your business venture. I'll add them to the payroll when I get back to my main office."

"Great! And I'm so sorry about Jet. I really don't know what gets into him."

"Don't worry about it. He doesn't really mean to do those things, and I was a little too hard on him. I'll apologize next time I see him. " Albert said, laying the ice pack down. "Give me a call if you hire anyone else."

Albert left and GB and Pyunma joined her at the table with a pot of tea. She looked over to GB and asked, "How is the family and job search?"

"Sophie and Rose are doing fine. The job search, not so well. Sophie is just grateful I have this right now." Frances was fully aware the out of work actor was trying to find another full time job on a soap opera since his last gig had come to a close. He really relied on his employment with Frances to make ends meet until he landed another gig.

Chang lofted a cup of tea and said, "I remember when she wasn't."

GB growled and rubbed his forehead with two fingers. "I was an idiot when I came home and told her I got this job."

"You didn't tell me this story," Frances said, with a smile.

"Me either," Pyunma said.

GB's lips twisted in a wry smirk. "I came home after you hired me and announced I got a job at a strip club. I forgot to say 'male' strip club. She went ballistic before I could explain and kicked me out for the night. The next morning I explained the only naked flesh I'd be seeing was on men. All was forgiven."

Frances chuckled as the door opened. Junior lead in a young, sweet looking, Japanese man. He was gazing around the club with a gaping jaw and wide eyes. Junior pointed at the star struck young man and said, "He'd like an interview."

"Oh good! Junior, please join me on the panel," Frances said. Chang and GB attempted to slip away, but she caught their wrists in vice like grips. "You too."

Her three non-stripper employees groaned, but sat at the table. Pyunma, on the other hand, gave the young man serious attention. Frances really appreciated Pyunma's acumen when it came to the business side of their industry.

"Name?" Frances asked.

"Joe Shimamura. It's nice to meet you." He gave a slow, warm smile to Frances, and she had to pause a minute. It was the most charming smile she'd ever seen. It had an innocent quality to it that she found irresistible. His mussed up hair only added to the look.

"So have you ever done this type of work before?" she asked, seriously doubting it.

"No, Ma'am. Something about keeping women company?"

The men sitting at the table with Frances all laughed, even Junior was snickering. She tapped her pen on the table and shot them a cool look. She then turned to her applicant. "Yes, that is exactly what we do around here. Now, are you very shy?"

"Oh no, I like to talk to girls. That's no problem."

"Well, you won't be talking too much to them," Frances clarified. Joe was now wearing a confused expression. She turned to Pyunma and said, "Why don't you enlighten the applicant."

With that Pyunma bounded up onto the stage and busted out his Gangnam Style dance variation. During which he divested himself of sneakers, teeshirt, and then jeans, all smoothly. He ended up grabbing the poll, once down to his red briefs, and lofted himself up in a horizontal position for a minute before stopping and collecting his clothes.

Frances looked over to the young, fresh face man who just stared at Pyunma in a mixture of horror and fascination. "Don't worry if you don't know the latest dances. Pyunma will train you."

"Ah... I don't know if I'm right for the job." He was now blushing.

"Nonsense. Take off your clothes and lets us be the judge of that," Frances urged. Her instinct was that this one would be a diamond in the rough. He still looked indecisive. "You'll have the opportunity to make up to a thousand or more a night. It's great money, plus, meals."

"Oh, sure why not," he finally said. He took off his sweater vest and was shaky about unbuttoning his long sleeved shirt. Then there was an undershirt, and then a tank top before Frances could really glimpse the nice trim physique. He gave a shy smile. "The rest, please?"

"Pants, too?"

"Of course," Frances said, giving him an encouraging smile.

He nervously dropped his khakis, then his long johns. Under that were a pair of plaid boxers. She sighed and shook her head. "You really shouldn't hide those nice, trim muscles under all those clothes. Men?" she asked, looking at her employees.

Pyunma, still wearing nothing but his red briefs, gave Joe a critical look and walked around him, resting his chin on a balled up fist. "He can work."

Chang, GB, and Junior all gave thumbs up. Frances gave a delighted sigh and quick clap of the hands. She stood and extended her hand to shake Joe's. Her new employee grabbed one of his shirts and cover the front of his stomach and groin with it before shaking her hand.

"You can start tonight," Frances declared.

To be continued.


End file.
